Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
