Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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