"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
