Screwed.edu
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Holy sore nipples Batman
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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