Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
These tits shall not be calmed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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