Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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