I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
