Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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