Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize