nut hugger
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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