god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
