Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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