I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
