um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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