Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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