That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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