is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
