This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
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............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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