I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
