3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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