What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize