I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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