What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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