ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
from now on my penis is your penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
