I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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