Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
