he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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