You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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