BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He has the fingertips of a God
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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