am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Boobs speak an international language.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
