Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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