I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize