my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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