And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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