I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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