if you like me you must not know who I am
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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