4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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