She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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