The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
