Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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