i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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