Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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