woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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