I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
