If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
