his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
not ubering you a puppy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
