Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
