My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
