R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize