If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
how drunk are you?
Several
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
