Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
