CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she told me i tasted like america
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
