Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize