come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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