Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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