I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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