She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
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i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
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I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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